Sweetheart I must confess...
Depression has Taken Over
I am so tired of dealing with the many issues I have in my life. I do have plenty to be grateful for, but I can’t help but to feel bad about what is going on with me. I have several health issues and it is hard to treat them. I have been unable to really find a support system during all of this. I want to be able to return to school but I can’t right now. I thought I had plenty of friends but no one is really asking me how they can help me.
I have a great man I love, but he lives across the country. We still communicate all the time, but he doesn’t have serious feelings for me anymore. Everything reminds me of him including TV and music. That makes me feel even worse when I can’t get passed those hurt feelings. He doesn’t want to fix our relationship and I can’t let him go.
I have started cutting myself too due to the fact that I am so upset and angry. I want to get better with my health, go back to school, and be able to find someone to love me. I just don’t know how to make things better, and I get tired of having to face these problems day after day in my life.
I am so Sorry
I recently told a friend of mine that I wish she could walk. I know she has serious health problems. I was just frustrated that I was doing so much for her. She is a great friend and I really hurt her. Now she is hesitant to ask me to do anything for her. I think I was just overwhelmed that day and took it out on her. I really want her to trust me again.
The Lies Pile Up
I have lied so many times to others about who I am. I guess I want to sound really great to them. I have really created a mountain, and I have even started to believe some of these lies myself. I have to continue keeping all of these lies straight so that I don’t get caught. It is taking up my life, and even my parents are being told lies. They think I have tons of friends and that I am doing so well in school. I sure wish that I could come clean with all of this and just have a fresh start.
Getting Revenge
All I can think about is getting revenge on my friend. She knew I was madly in love with Kyle but she slept with him. Now I feel so betrayed by both of them that I just can’t get passed it. Sure, my friend has apologized continually for it but I think that if my feelings really mattered she would have never been with Kyle.
I can’t see passed my desire to have some type of plan to get revenge on her. I want her to feel the same pain that I did. Kyle isn’t just off the hook either though. He wants me back, and I am planning to say yes just to plot against him. I may get myself another boyfriend and make sure he finds out about it. Maybe I can sleep with someone my so called friend really likes too and finally get my revenge on both of them.